Do You Have Fat Pants?

What the hell are fat pants?  I've heard girls talk about them all the time.  I never really knew or understood what they are until this past weekend.

My wife Lori got me a gift certificate from Murdochs for Christmas.  So we decided to go look for a shirt or two for me.  Or pants.  Found a couple nice shirts and settled on a black one.  Then headed to the pants.  Why can't there be just one or two types of pants?  There must have been hundreds (well it sure seemed that way).  Found a couple pair, one blue and one black.  Tried them on.  Couldn't fasten the button.  WHAT? What size are these? They must be made wrong!  So I moved up a waist size.  OH NO!

What the hell happened...to my waist?  I need to buy...FAT JEANS!

Maybe I do need to diet...(but at least my pants fit)