I make that solemn vow to you, the KYSS FM fans, because that's the kind of radio announcer integrity you deserve!

Sadly, I can't take responsibility for the dude in Lakeland, Florida, who AP says was captured on surveillance video driving away from a storage facility in what turned out to be a stolen truck, loaded with a very large swan statue. Oh, yeah, the culprit was naked during the heist.

The truck was recovered, but the naked guy and swan are still at large. Video also shows him going from one storage garage to the next, testing for break-in opportunities. He was holding a bucket in front of himself to...well, we don't know.

That poor swan.


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