Couldn’t You Have Just Misplaced A Hamster?

At last report the Bronx Zoo in New York was still in quite a tizzy and somebody was having Twitterin' good time at their expense...

The zoo says that the Egyptian cobra that went missing the other day is likely still in the zoo. Somewhere. But somebody with a Twitter-equipped i-phone has opened a Twitter account claiming to be  the Cobra with some hilarious tweets like:  "Empire State Building---all the people look like mice down there. Delicious little mice."...."Leaving financial district. These people make my skin crawl."...."Holding very still at snake exhibit at Museum of  Natural History. This is going to be hilarious."   I don't think I can top those, but maybe we can still help the cobra out with future tweets. I'll go first:    

"Feel like they're getting closer to finding me. Time to make an asp of myself."

Anybody else?