I know it may seem a little early to be discussing Valentine’s Day but it’s coming, ready or not. I thought I would do a public service and help the gentlemen of Missoula out a little bit by letting them know what not to get their ladies. I figure if I can give you guys enough of a heads up, you will have enough time to find her something that she won’t be disappointed with.


  • Shaving a heart of your lady’s name in your chest and/or back hair. This may seem like a sweet gesture – like getting a tattoo, but not as permanent. Not so romantic.

  • Serving your lady with divorce papers is a horrible Valentine’s Day gift. You should at least wait until February 15. After all, you did love her enough to marry her at some point in your past.

  • A toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, wax, shampoo, conditioner, etc.. Anything that will make your lady feel like you think her breath is bad, she stinks or is too hairy is a very bad gift.

  • Cabbage makes a horrible gift. Not only does it say that you’re cheap, it also says that you’re boring. Is there a blander vegetable out there than cabbage, or more disgusting for that matter?

  • A ring box with anything in it that’s not a ring. There is nothing that women who are in relationships look forward to more than getting a ring. They want nothing more than to chain some poor sap down for the rest of his life and a ring is the symbol of that. It’s just plain cruel to get a girl’s hopes up like that.