Have you ever wondered what was wrong with your marriage? I’m sure most people would say money problems or a wandering eye, but you would be wrong. You see, the answer is the dishwasher. Yes, apparently the dishwasher is the bane of your marriage’s existence.

I was unaware of what a huge problem this was in marriages until I saw a recent survey done by Bosch. (If you didn’t know, Bosch is a dishwasher manufacturer.) According to this survey 40 percent of Americans fight about loading the dishwasher, and an even greater percentage fight about pre-rinsing dishes. Another huge issue is whether to place knives point up or down, and whether to put the cups on the top rack and plates on the bottom. Of those surveyed, 41 percent fight over cramming as many dishes in the washer as possible, or separating them for a more even clean.

As a wife, I can honestly say that I must not be like most married couples, because I never fight with my husband about any of these issues. I would gladly let my husband (or any one of my children) load the dishwasher whichever way they wanted, as long as they actually loaded the washer. If I didn’t have to load and unload the dishwasher myself two times a day that would be heaven.

However, it seems that I am the dish fairy in my house. As the dish fairy, I will tell you that you should pre-rinse, the knives go pointy side down, the cups go on the top rack and dishes on the bottom, and you don’t over stuff the dishwasher unless you want to rewash half of the dishes by hand. The only thing I wish for as the dish fairy, is a little better pay.

Joy Larson is a mother of four boys, graduate of The University of Montana, animal lover and writer.