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The Uggliest Boots Ever Made

What is wrong with people? How is it that the uggliest boots ever made are still popular after a decade? Furthermore, how is it that they ever became popular in the first place?

People claim the reason they wear Uggs is because they are so comfortable. Guess what, sweat pants and a sweatshirt with no bra are really comfortable too, but I’m not going to wear that in public.

Seriously people, have a little class. I mean that, literally, have at the very least, a little class. Don’t wear the sweat pants version of shoes on your feet everywhere. Save your sweatpants and your Uggs for when you’re all bloated from PMS, sitting on your couch, devouring chocolates and ice cream and crying while you’re watching chick flicks.

Please don’t strut around in public with them on, like you’re feet are too cool for school – because they’re not. The only legitimate reason for wearing these poor excuses for footwear where other people can see you is if you’re small child and you don’t know any better. Then I say to you parents who torture your children with these horrid boots – shame on you!

Were you aware there are man Uggs? How can this possibly be? Apparently NFL quarterback Tom Brady was the spokesman for man Uggs. What? Professional athletes promote deodorant, jockstraps, and sports drinks. They do not model ugly feminine boots.

How can it be that these atrocities of nature and feet are on the top of the fashion list for Christmas? They beat out Nike Air Jordans and North Face to win this spot. Come on, really? Apparently ugly is in?

I can assure you this, I will never spend one red cent of my hard earned money on these blasphemies of footwear. I beg you people, for the love of all that is sacred and holy. Stop the madness! Stop buying Uggs!

Joy Larson is a mother of four boys, graduate of the University of Montana, animal lover and writer. 

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