Here's a few tips on how you can tell you're at a lame New Year's Party;

  1. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed.
  2. The ''Party Hats'' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones.
  3. There's a "Happy 1995" sticker on the packet of shrimp you've been eating all night.
  4. It's January 6th.
  5. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm.
  6. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000.
  7. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants drop.
  8. You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom.
  9. The ''Champagne'' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer.


Humor courtesy of