IT'S SO HOT THAT...

...I saw a fire hydrant chasing down a dog!

...I went outside for a smoke and the cigarette lit itself!

...I'm sweating like a politician on election day!

...all the bread in the store is toast!

... the cows are giving evaporated milk!

... the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground!

...you can make INSTANT sun tea!

...your car overheats before you drive it!

... you got condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl!

...Lance Armstrong tested positive for water!

...my Reese's peanut butter cups turned into Reese's peanut butter shooters...I drank 'em anyway!

...my change melted into a medallion in my purse!

...I saw a coyote chasing a jack rabbit and they were both walking!