Clown Shortage

I’m not sure if this is the best news or the worst news I’ve ever heard. It seems that there is a clown shortage, according to the World Clown Association. Apparently this is due to old clowns dying off and no new clowns wanting to fill their giant shoes.

I am not saddened by this. I find clowns to be quite creepy. They wear gobs of makeup, dress funny, assault each other, cram into impossibly tiny cars and are rarely funny. I find them to be creepier than anything else. Almost every clown I’ve ever seen or met has red curly hair, which I also find to be scary.

I can’t imagine why no young people want to become clowns. I’m sure there is tons of money to be made dressing in baggy clothes and wearing a red nose. Who wouldn’t want to dress that way every day? How about trying to entertain kids who have played video games from the time they were three? I’m sure that’s really easy. A few little magic tricks and slap stick comedy probably just make them yawn.

It seems as though the clown is destined for extinction. Perhaps we should place it on the endangered species list? Maybe that will help their numbers increase. Or perhaps we should just let them die off. Then they will end up as something mysterious from the past that scientist for which scientists can hypothesis about how they lived, much like the dodo bird.

What do you think? Are you worried about the clown shortage or glad like me that maybe one day we will live in a world free of clowns?

Joy Larson is a mother of four boys, graduate of the University of Montana, animal lover and writer.