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Are Dangers Lurking in Your House? They are in Mine

 

Does anyone else live in a house filled with dead animals? I’m sure that I can’t be the only one, given the fact that hunting and fishing are ways of life around here. In my kitchen alone there is an elk head, a moose head, 15 deer shed and a pot rack made from elk sheds. My living room is even worse, consisting of two antelope heads, three elk sheds, a duck, two deer heads, two fox hides, four sets of matching deer sheds, a wolf skull and a wolf hide.

I am convinced if there was ever an earthquake that everyone in my house would die. They would either be squashed by a mount, or gored by a set of antlers or horns. My kitchen and living room could quite possibly be the most dangerous places that I have ever been. I’m surprised no one has lost an eye or a limb yet.

Does anyone else live with a hoarder like this? My husband did a great job of hiding this from me when we were dating, but as soon as we were married and moved into our own place, the walls seemed to sprout dead animal heads. Like flowers budding in the spring, but not quite as pretty and definitely not as nice smelling.

I have tried to curb my husband’s love for taxidermy and shed hunting, but sadly he cannot be rehabilitated. No matter what I try to do to take his mind off of these things, nothing seems to work. I have just resigned myself to the fact that I will live amongst animal pelts, heads and antlers for the rest of my life.

I guess things could always be worse. I’ve heard of men who have sick obsessions with football or even basketball. They have walls filled with signed jerseys, balls and pictures of their favorite players. Hours are spent watching these games on TV and there is even a special network, called ESPN that is devoted to keeping these sick men constantly updated to what is going on with their favorite teams.

I guess if it’s not one thing with men, it’s another. How boring would life be without them?

Joy Larson is a mother of four boys, graduate of The University of Montana, animal lover and writer.

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