Apple Thrower Terrorizes Southwest Washington

You  know, if every criminal was as dangerous as this whack-a-doodle, it would be a pretty safe world!

Vancouver authorities are on the lookout for someone tossing apples on the roofs of houses. He appears to be a serial tosser, sometimes leaving notes after he has struck. His last note claimed that he targeted five houses with three apples per house. He has also bragged of tossing apples across the river at houses in Oregon.

One note included the explanation that the area may be one of the best places on earth for a hooligan such as himself, because bike riders are everywhere and it's so easy to blend in.

But Johnny Apple-nerd did get caught on a surveillance image, so his rotten-to-the-core behavior may be ending soon (insert Dragnet them bed here).   DB