An Open Letter to Miniskirts

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but lately I’ve been seeing a lot more of you than I would like.

It happens every year, and I really shouldn’t be surprised by it anymore. When temperatures start flirting with the 50-degree mark, hemlines start rising, and I’m invariably overcome with shock.

It’s not like I have something against miniskirts as a whole. You can be quite fashionable in the right setting. But I think you would agree that March in Montana definitely is not the right setting.

Yes, we’ve had a few nice days. Yes, the snow is melting, and spending time outside is becoming more and more bearable. Still, you need to accept reality: it isn’t spring. Don’t be fooled by the inventory at American Eagle and PacSun — I don’t know who they think they’re kidding with their flip-flops and halter-tops.

It’s been a long winter, and I know you’re tired of being stuck at the bottom of the drawer, right next to the Hannah Montana T-shirt that was a Christmas gift from Grandma. (“I thought you’d like it sweetie, since you live in Montana and all!”)

But the truth is, no matter how hard you wish, spring isn’t coming any faster — even if some dumb rodent in Philadelphia told you it was. There’s still a lot of calendar between now and the time at which leg-baring attire will be appropriate.

Once that date arrives, there will be plenty of time for you to make a fashion statement at outdoor concerts and barbecues. Until then, you’ll just have to hang in there (at the back of the closet).

Sincerely,

A concerned (and appropriately dressed) Missoula resident

Brooke is a 2010 graduate of The University of Montana, where she ran track and cross country for the Grizzlies. She is currently working as a writer and editor in Missoula.